sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
