Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my sisters under your porch take her home
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
