if only i could text you this smell
where does the pee come out of this thing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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