is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
