I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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