Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
