you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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