I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
