we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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