i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
