Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
