the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize