"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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