Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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