The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize