I wannas sexs uuuuu
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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