babies were throwing up all over the place
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
