In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
