five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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