I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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