I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize