Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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