Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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