How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
