does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
