Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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