And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
