then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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