i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
