did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
