i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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