I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
