I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
