I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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