My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
