What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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