How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
