That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
