he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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