Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dear god my vagina.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
