Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
