I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize