I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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