Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
