i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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