Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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