So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
