That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
