I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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