Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
