4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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