cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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