so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
