you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
