1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
