they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
