i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
