Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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