Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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