rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
