My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
