The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
