Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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