the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
