The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
