mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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