dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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