i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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