we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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