youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize