Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
