If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
