Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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