nut hugger
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
