When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My ass is underappreciated
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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