I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
