It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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