doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
