is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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