do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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