; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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